Purpose?

0630 Hours, Quiet murmur of the city: I'd just woken up to one of the worst mornings of my life, a sudden distress in my mind, a sudden pounding in my chest. I could've heard my heart sink and then thump in a desperate attempt to rise again. I was, in essence, having a crisis. You might be wondering at this point about the title and whether the writer is merely unloading their trauma here.

Ah well, No. I felt what all of us have felt quite a lot of times in our lives and will likely experience many more times until the day the sun no longer kisses our face. But before we dive into this, let me provide some background to what led to this moment.

In the preceding days, I had been contentedly employed by the world's largest car company, contributing to the creation of Autonomous and Smart car systems, and reaping the financial rewards. Personally, I had been living alone for about two years, rarely finding time to socialise or interact with friends.

Which is why I decided to take a small trip and visit my friends in the city. One of us was building their own startup, one had been laid off, another had embarked on a Ph.D. journey at IISc, one had resolved to remain independent and accumulate wealth, and some of us were eager to venture out and start something new. It was a diverse group, each at a different stage in their lives, all pursuing or planning something unique. But what about me?

A Good job? Check! 

Money? Check! 

Friends? Check! 

Purpose? ...Uncheck! 

At first, it didn't make sense. Why was I feeling this way when I seemingly had everything anyone could desire? Why was it that even after acquiring it all, it still wasn't enough? This led me on a journey of soul-searching, and I invite you, the reader, to join me on this post.

Throughout human civilisation, people have been searching for purpose, a goal, an end to a means. Ten thousand years ago, it was foraging for food and shelter; five thousand years ago, it was cultivating crops and storing provisions. Two thousand years ago, it was about conquering lands far and wide. A hundred years ago, it was about creating industrial machines. Today, it's about building sentient beings that can predict, inform, challenge, and achieve what the limits of our biological species cannot.

But where does that leave us? Where do I fit into this grand tapestry of human existence? What is the collective purpose of our species, and how does it intertwine with our individual lives?

The search for purpose is a deeply personal and universal quest. It's a question that has transcended time and culture, and it continues to perplex and inspire. Our answers may vary according to our needs, personalities, and life circumstances, but beneath it all, there lies a common thread—the desire to contribute to the collective human identity, to ensure it thrives, evolves, and builds upon the experiences of both the self and others.

"We must sit with our demons if we want to get rid of them; we must be kind to them as they have been cruel to us.”

Try sitting alone, not thinking a thing, not doing anything, and watch your mind explode with a myriad of thoughts, each vying for your attention, attempting to pull you away from your inner peace. It's only when you can sit with yourself in tranquility and contemplate life that you'll discover your true purpose. The silence of your loneliness will confront you, urging you to take action, to become something, to pretend, to scream within and distract yourself.

And once the silence dawns on you, when your mind is calm and you can shed the chains you've wrapped around yourself, you will grasp the true purpose of what you want. No matter how many times you feel anxious about your life, its purpose, or its meaning, all you'll need to do is sit with yourself, tell yourself that you've got this! You'll become intoxicated by life, riding the wave to wherever it takes you, perhaps even penning another blog post to share with others!