Do you believe God exists?

One fine evening as i lay and was having yet another profound conversation with a friend about mundane chores, repeating life patterns and a prudish lifestyle the pandemic had pushed upon us, he asked me - Do you believe god exists? 

At first instance my reaction, being a person who valued reason over emotion, science over omen, I answered - "Yeah, no, well...". At that moment I didn't quite feel satisfied with myself, as if a part of me wanted to add more, a certain philosophy that had been brewing in me, moulded with past experiences with god. What followed later was a deeper sense of self and understanding of my ideology on life. 

Before i share that, I'd like the reader to know a little about myself, I was born and brought up in a Hindu household, with chants of Lord Ganesha on festivals and fasts of Goddesses every now and then, with No cutting nail or hair on tuesdays and No eating of non-veg on days of Lord Hanuman, with Ramayana being a center of all great stories of the religion to seeing my parents join hands at every idol of a god.

Naturally, I was inclined to accept Hinduism as my religion, often asked to pray myself. And yet somehow, although i never questioned my parents but i often wondered, why? 

The why led me to a search, it lead me to the mysteries of the world, The known and the unknown. I wanted to know everything about stars, planets, heavenly bodies, because religion was limited to just life on this planet, It didn't explain anything about the endless stream of space and stardust above our heads. Astrology came in and though it is a great study of nature of humans based on heavenly body positions, it was yet again limited to the perspective of mankind. Having searched along, I ventured into Islam, Prophet Muhammad's preaching and messages from god. The religion was thus formed upon values inspired from the messages of god, some of the verses in Quran inspired from nomadic lifestyle as well, yet again i felt something was missing. Christianity is quite new to me, The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit making the three pillars of it often guiding that Love is what unites us, it keeps us together and faith is what makes us better than before. 

At some point i totally disregarded that god exists, falling into the faction of atheism, believing in everything is the same as believing in nothing, but believing in nothing can be detrimental to your personal growth, at some point i understood why religion was built, it was to keep a society, to keep faith in it, to keep people from veering off, to guide them when they didn't know what to do, It was indeed a guardian, watchful eye so that cultures may build, ideologies be generated and philosophy be followed. 

I came up with my own idea of god, God isn't some person or some entity, God is energy.

Every person, every animal, every insect, every non living thing, every object down to the minute particle...It is all energy in some form. So why can't the idea of god be energy? 

I believe that all of these energies have a connection between them which transcends time itself, you are reading this article on your device right now interacting with not just the inanimate device but also my thoughts, I am transcending my views which is transferring some form of reaction inside your noggin'. Are we not sharing our energies here? If i write something absurd and hateful of some religion, wouldn't that irk you, say if you were from that particular religion? It would! 

Now that i have established that we share energies with everything we come in contact with, that we don't pass time but time passes around us, Here is the second part to my ideology - The energy transcends and is regardless of time. 

Imagine you have a big ball of energy, a huge ball! Now, you take itsy bitsy parts from it and put them into every entity in the world, on a smaller scale- Lets say we have a Huge ball of energy and we chip small parts from it and give it to every human on this planet, I will have 1/7th billionth of the part of the energy, same way you will have 1/7th billionth of the part, and since we interact through energies, we are doing nothing but interacting with a part of ourselves in the other person. 

I am talking to you, interacting with you, I have a part of something that you also have, whatever i inflict on you is in essence inflicted on me, whatever good deed i do, will happen to me, If i hit a wall, the wall will hit me too, you get me? This is true for generations as well, your parents also have the same 1/7th billionth part as yourself and so did people before them and before them and before them. Life originated from one and it branched out into many, same way, energy was one, it branched out into many. We are all collectively in this, and not just humans, but everything, even non-living things. God is nothing, but us, everything in that respect is god and shall be treated as godly as god is. 

I found Shinto religion of Japan to be quite similar to this ideology, they say that everything has a spirit, all the trees, all the objects and all life has a spirit and you shouldn't disturb those spirits if you don't want the spirits to disturb the soul inside you. Quite interesting i must say. 

You are a part of me, I am a part of you and we collectively are part of everything, we are nothing but specks in a grand scheme that collectively make this universe, we are the universe. We may have different properties, ideas, aspirations, values, but all of them generate from what energy we share with each other. In the end, we all share a connection, like threads that bind us all to one thread that branches out. And that connection, that energy is what i will call - God.